


Billie

by Jay_Heart_22



Category: Green Day
Genre: Age Difference, Anxiety, Cheating, Depression, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Romance, Support
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-05-28 03:52:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6314272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay_Heart_22/pseuds/Jay_Heart_22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is 2018 and you're an 18-year-old girl who is running from the past. You end up in California after about a week of hitchiking. It starts to rain once you arrive, so you run to the nearest roof available; a bus stop. You get there, and meet the last person you'd expect. Could these 18 years of hell have been worth it, for this moment?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rainy Night

**Author's Note:**

> So, I am still working on my other story, Valentine, as well as a new one; but I had to write this. This will be another series, but probably not as long of one. I hope you enjoy!

Things had gotten bad, so I did the only thing a 'worthless emo slut' would do. I ran away. I couldn’t take the criticism, couldn’t stand the pain, the embarrassment, the guilt... I pull down the sleeves of my shirt, covering my hands. I’d been hitchhiking all the way to California. Being 18, it isn’t like it was illegal just to disappear. I made way down the street, and it begins to pour rain.   
“Oh, fuck me…” I swear under my breath, seeing a bus station. I sprinted to it, quivering in the cold of the night. I get to the stop and sigh, leaning back on the side. I pull out a cigarette and search my pockets, finding my lighter. I attempt to light it and let out a frustrated groan. “Fuckin’ great!” I whisper-yell to myself.   
“Do you need a light?” I heard a voice, oddly familiar. Looking up, I noticed it was *the* Billy Joe Armstrong. What part of Cali had I ended up in?! At a loss for words, I nod slowly, and he pulls one out, lighting my cigarette for me. He smiled, yet I sensed sadness in those green eyes.   
“Th…” Damn, learn to speak! “Th-thanks…” I mentally scold myself. This wasn’t happening. One of the shady guys that gave me a ride drugged me, and this is all an induced dream…  
“Did you hear me?” The older man chuckled.   
“H-Huh?” Way to make an awkward moment worse!   
He laughed again. “I said it’s no problem. Then, I asked if you’re from around here.”  
“O-OH… Uh, no, I’m from Kansas. Why?”  
“Because you got a pretty thick accent."   
“Do I? Damn; I knew that hell took a toll on me…” He raised an eyebrow, and I shrugged off my statement quickly. I took a few nervous drags of my cigarette.  
“Got a name?” He smirked a bit, lighting his cigarette that he had apparently been holding. This is where it got a bit tricky. I’d legally (and not so legally) changed my name several times. I stuttered out, “(Y/N)” He grinned and took my hand, shaking it gently.   
“I take it you know who I am?” He asked, and I just nod like an idiot. He let go of my hand and sat on the bench. He pats the seat next to him, and I reluctantly sat down. He was so close (small bench)and I began panicking. He smelled nice, I noticed.   
“S-So… Why are you hanging out with a stranger like me in a place like this?” I ask giving him a sideways glance. Just then, I saw his smile slip.  
“It’s not important…”   
“You don’t want to talk about it?”  
“I do… I just…” He groaned in anger, “I can’t.” He took several drags before continuing. “It’s the type of thing that can’t be made public.”  
“Oh.” Dumbly, I remember who the hell I'm talking to. I panic again, because, who wouldn’t be at one hell of a dream?  
“Unless,” his voice sounded strained like he was holding in either a rant or a sob. “You won’t tell anyone…”  
“Hey…” I got an instinct, putting a hand on his shoulder. He looked at me, and I quickly retreated, stumbling over my words. “I-I know you’ve probably heard this a million times, but, with how much shit you have helped me through, I-I can promise I won’t tell a soul. I k-kinda o-owe you…” He smiled at my blushing self, and I sighed at my idiocy. “Wh-what I’m trying to say… Is… You can vent to me. Without worry…” I smile sincerely, and his eyes brighten up a bit, like a puppy dog. It was so cute…  
“W-Well, the reason I’m here is because… I had to get the fuck out of that house.” I nod slowly, listening intently. “I got home from rehearsal, and scene shootings for the movie I’m gonna be in…” I hum for him to continue after he pauses again. “After a long day, I just wanted to go home to my wife and (grown) kids, to see them and relax. I got there, and the kids were gone, which isn’t weird, they’re at that age, ya know?” He let out a shaky sigh, then continued. “I… She… I-I heard noises coming from our room…”  
“Oh shit…” I said under my breath, angrily. That bitch! I place my hand on his back, rubbing in small circles to comfort him. It worked because he relaxed a bit.   
“She cheated on me. Why am I so upset? I haven’t got a clue. We’ve grown apart for years; we haven’t been in love for just as long. I do still care about her, and we’ve been married since ‘94. She’s the mother of my kids. She’s one of my best friends… I just walked into the room, hoping it wasn’t what I’d thought. It was. She looked at me, and the stranger got up to get dressed. I told him to stop and I left as quick as my fucking feet would take me. I…” He sighed, and a tear rolled down his cheek. I reached into my bag and pulled out some tissue, gently wiping away the tears. He smiled at me. “S-Sorry, I know it’s stupid and all, but I needed to get it out…” Nodding, I smile as sweetly as I can.   
“Can I ask you something, (Y/N)?”   
“Uh-huh?” Was all my voice could manage? I knew what was coming.  
“What drove you out of Kansas?” He looked so innocent and sweet.   
“It’s a long story…”  
“I’ve got all night.” He smiled at me. I missed having people treat me like an actual person.   
“Well…” Then it spilled, every horror you’ve been through, every harsh word said, every lash of a belt or a bat, every threat, all 18 years worth of misery. He looked at you in awe, “So, the reason I came here, was to be with my grandpa and great uncle -you know minus everything else… They aren’t alive, and I never got to know them… I didn’t even attend the funeral…” And by the time you were done speaking, he had the most concerned look on his face.   
“I-I’m so sorry, (Y/N)... I know it’s a touchy subject, but do you… Still mutilate yourself..?”  
“U-Uh… Depends on what you count as mutilation. I don’t cut anymore if that’s what you meant…” I felt my face heating up as the subject brought memories, causing me to squeeze my eyes shut.   
“I mean any form of self-harm, drugs included. Minus weed.” We both chuckled dryly. See, he of all people knew sort of what I was going through; he’s had experience with drugs himself.  
I nod slowly, “When you put it that way, then yeah…” He nods slowly and grabs my left hand. Slowly, he lifted the sleeve of my shirt up my arm, revealing everything. Every old and new scar; every burn be it done by me or someone else; every word engraved; every stripe from my struggles with weight; every hole on my veins… His eyes seemed tore up like he’d never seen anything like this before. “I-I know it’s bad, embarrassing as shit too…” I grumble, trying to push back down my sleeve. He sighed, and grabbed my free hand to stop it. He then did something that only happens in movies or stories… He kissed my scars, almost every one of them. I felt the surreal rush of what was happening. He looked up at me from under his beautiful eyelashes, sitting back up afterward.   
“No matter how many people put you down, just know that they’re only jealous. Every woman wants to be as beautiful and genuine as you, and every bastard out there wishes for a girl like you to come along. Ignore their criticism, you’re too beautiful to do this to yourself, you’re too amazing to leave this world just yet… For me, would you hold on, and believe it when I say you’re perfect?” He was blushing slightly and gave me the most genuine smile ever. Then, I did something I hadn’t done in a long while, I cried. I let it out, and it felt great. He pulled me into a hug, and I sobbed into his chest, clinging to him like my life depended on it. He held me for what felt like hours while I sobbed the entire time. It was pretty fucking embarrassing. When I had calmed down, he let go of me, looking into my (E/C) eyes.  
“Can you promise me that?” He asked, now that I was able to speak again.   
“Y-Yeah…” I smiled at him, how could one person be so genuine and… Perfect?   
“You said you’re new around here, so I take it you haven’t got a place to stay?” I just nod at him, and he pulled out his phone. He dialed someone.   
“Hey, Mike?” The other guy, apparently Mike, spoke. “Yeah, I’m at a bus stop with a friend and…” He sounded like he was hoping for something. “A ride would be great, yeah, I’ll tell you later. Okay, bye dude.” He hung up and finished his smoke, I put mine out and looked up at him.  
“Mike’s giving us a ride? To where?” I had confusion in my voice.   
“Well, neither of us have a place to go, I have money, so I’m gonna find us a warm place to stay and hang out tonight.” My mouth dropped open, and only one question was on my mind.  
“...Why?”   
He looked at me, dumbfounded. “Why?”  
“Why are you being so nice to me? I’m just another girl, another fan, why the hell are you helping me? No one’s ever helped. No one’s ever cared, not really… Just…” I balled my hands into fists. “Why am I having such a torturous dream?” My arm begins to itch, so I scratch at it in agitation.   
“Listen,” He grabbed my hands making them relax. “I care about you; I don’t know why, please don’t ask. I just… I feel like I need to take care of you. I haven’t known you long, but I do know you’re fucking amazing. Please let me help you out, come with me..?” He let go of my hands. Just then a car pulls up next to us and honks. He reaches out one hand for me to grab and I smile sweetly, taking his hand. Maybe this wasn’t a dream? He grinned and walked me to the car, shielding me from the rain. He opened the door for me, and I got into the back. I got settled, and he shut the door, getting into the passenger seat. I looked at Mike, who had turned around to look at me. He was handsome as well; this dream is a fucking rollercoaster.   
“Oh- UH, Mike, this is (Y/N).” Billie spluttered out. Mike reached a hand towards me, and I shook his hand nervously.   
“H-Hi…” Oh great, here we go again… English isn’t hard, come on!  
He smirked and turned back to Billie, “Where to, boss?”   
Billie punched his arm jokingly. “Don’t call me that, damn. Just the nicest hotel near here.” Mike wiggled his brows and winked at Billie, but I still saw it and blushed brightly.  
“Y-You don't have to worry; I’m not a whore, so..”  
“Please don’t imply that she is, dude, just drive okay?”   
Mike shrugged, looking weirdly at his bandmate and starting to drive off. They drove for like twenty minutes, and Mike stopped the car at this nice place.   
“Thanks, dude. See ya later.” Billie smiled at his friend, who seemed concerned. He opened the door, and I bid Mike a quiet goodbye. Billie escorted me inside and paid upfront for a couple of nights. I just noticed that he had covered his face and paid in cash. Well, makes sense, media would have a field day. We got a top floor room with one room, and he decided to take the couch. I tried to argue, but he wouldn’t listen. We went into the lounge area, and he sat down.   
“I-I’m gonna go shower,” I mumble, and he nods. I turned slowly to leave the rather extravagant room.


	2. What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billie offers to help you out, little do you know, he needs you as much as you need him.

“Do you have clothes? You don’t have a bag..?”  
I facepalmed and sighed. “Dammit…” He took out his suitcase and pulled out a sweater and some plaid sweats, handing them to me. I blush a bit and move to the bathroom. Am I gonna wear his clothes?! I rush to the bathroom and lock it behind me. I slide down the door. I’m sharing a hotel room with Billie Joe Armstrong! This is the best dream ever! I held the sweater up to my face and smiled. He smells like heaven. Realising how creepy I was being, I set the clothes on the counter and stripped off my dirty clothing, almost gagging. I hated not being able to shower. Jumping into the shower quickly, I scrubbed away the regret of this trip, realising it might have been worth it… If it was real. Groaning, I lean against the wall of the shower. Once I finish, I sigh again and get out, drying off. I got quickly dressed and brushed my hair, smiling to see his clothes loosely hanging off my shoulders. “How is he so sweet..? Aren’t celebrities suppose to be mean? Like total dicks??” I groan again, leaning on the counter. I suddenly felt very light headed. “Shit…” Standing upright, I left the bathroom and went into the bedroom, finding a random drawer and putting my clothes into it. I walked back out, and Billie was gone, I looked around, sitting on the couch. It’s a pretty comfy couch. I saw a note lying next to me, and I picked it up, it was from him.   
‘(Y/N), I had an errand to run, and I had to talk to Mike. I’ll be back in a few hours. Be careful and help yourself to room service. The menu is on the end table. Have a good evening.  
~BJ’  
I smiled, and my stomach growled, so I picked up the menu. A steak and some steak fries? Hell yeah. Way better than fast food! I picked up the room’s phone and called them, ordering. When I finished, I hung up and waited. They got to the room quickly and knocked, I paused the movie I had turned on (some silly romantic comedy) and answered. The lady brought in the cart and set the food on the coffee table in front of the couch. She also set down a wine glass and some Champagne. “Excuse me; I didn’t order this?”  
“Your husband ordered it for you.” She left quickly, and I covered my face, blushing. Husband? Is that what they thought? As if. I laughed for a few minutes before I shrugged it off and poured a glass. I sat and ate, drinking in between bites. I eventually finished the meal and just drank. I missed alcohol so much! Several movies and almost an entire bottle later, he came back, holding some fancy looking shopping bags. I got up and stumbled a bit, walking over to him.   
“H-Hey,” I smiled, hiccuping a bit.   
“Did you have fun?” He asked hopefully, and I nodded, making him grin. “I bought you some clothes.” He stated and lifted up the bags. My jaw dropped a bit.   
“You didn’t have-”  
“I wanted to. I’ll be right back.” He left quickly, and the lady came back and got the dishes, smiling at me as she left. He returned and didn’t have the bags anymore. “Did you save some for me?” I nod, and he sat next to where I was sitting, and I sat back down hesitantly, yawning. “Tired?”  
“A bit…” I admit, and he finished off the bottle. “You should lay down; I bet you didn’t get good sleep during the trip.”   
“I’m not that tired!” I whined. He paused the cheesy movie I had on and smiled.   
“Come on.” He got up and grabbed my hand, pulling me up. I whined and complained a bit, but he eventually got me to the room. I pouted at him, getting onto the bed. He smiled a bit and turned to leave, but I grabbed his hand.   
“Can I ask you a favour?” I slurred a bit. He hummed curiously, and I continued. “Stay in here until I fall asleep?” I meant it as a question, but it came off as more of a statement. He sighed, blushing a little.   
“Only ‘till you fall asleep.” I scooted over and laid down; he laid next to me, and I cuddled up to his chest, smiling. I wish I had that kind of nerve sober! He put his arms around me, and I fell asleep, finally. Have no clue how long I even slept, honestly. All I do know was when I woke up I was alone. Well, too bad that dreams over… It was unbelievable- Hold on… This is the same room? Was it not a dream? I stood and rushed to the lounge, seeing the back of Billie’s head.  
“M-Morning…” I yawned. He smiled at me sweetly.  
“Good morning. Want to come watch t.v. With me?” I nod and sit next to him, looking at the screen intently. I liked this show! I felt like he was watching me and I turned my attention to him, making him look away, blushing. My cheeks flushed as well, and I giggled nervously.  
“Wh-what?” He looked at me again and laughed a bit.   
“Honestly? You’re just so adorable.” I let out a little involuntary squeak, then covered my mouth. He just laughed, and I smile a bit. “You think so?” I ask, voice a lot higher than intended.  
“Of-” He almost answered until his phone rang. Without looking away from my eyes, he replied. His smile slipped, as did his gaze. He sighed and closed his eyes tightly.   
“No, Adrienne. Listen-” I heard a female voice yelling on the other line. “Who are you to get mad at me! You cheated on me!” I listened to another muffled sentence. His eyes watered up, and he replied bitterly, “Oh really? Why did you marry me then-” His eyes went wide. “Oh. I see. I-If that’s what you have to say, then I’m hanging up!” He pulled the phone down, and she yelled so even I could hear.   
“WAIT, BILLIE!” With a sigh, he raised it back to his ear.   
“What.” He said coldly, obviously hurt. She said something that made him laugh dryly. “You can’t do that. You can’t admit to all of that shit and expect to say a fake ‘I love you’ and “I need you’ will bring me back!” The tears slipped, streaming down his face. “We’re getting a divorce, and that’s final. I can’t believe I married you…” He hung up before she could say anything further. He let out a shaky breath, and I frowned, opening up my arms. He looked at me through red glossy eyes, hugging me tightly. I sat in awe, the one who’s helped me when I cried over the years was now crying on my shoulder. It’s time to repay my debt. I held him tightly and stroked his incredibly soft hair. I never thought he cried… It’s surreal, seeing your idol cry. It’s even crazier to be the one holding him in this time of need.   
“Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.  
Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go…” I sing sweetly, still stroking his hair comfortingly.   
“So make the best of this test and don’t ask why.  
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time.” He laid his head on my lap, and I kept singing, hoping my happy song would help him a bit. It’s a stupid idea because it’s his song, but it’s worth a try…  
“It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life…  
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind,   
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.   
Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial,  
For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while.” He smiled softly, looking up at me. I smiled too and continued.   
“It’s something unpredictable,   
But in the end, is right.  
I hope you’ve had the time of your life…” I stopped and wiped away the tears, resting a hand on his cheek.   
“That helped…” He smiled, eyes still a bit red. “You have a beautiful voice; it goes with your personality well…” I blush a bit as he placed his hand over mine.   
“Listen,” I smile more, “You don’t need someone that cheats on you… Wh-what did she say? If you don’t mind me asking.” He sat up, still holding my hand gently.  
“She said that she’d done it multiple times, and tried to apologize… She then stated that she didn’t love me, she loved some guy named Brad -I assume that’s who I caught her with. I hate Brads…” He groaned. “Then when I asked why she married me, she said she did it for the money, to co-own a music business. I knew it was her dream, but that’s taking it pretty far… After that, she had the nerve to beg me to come back…” He didn’t look sad anymore; he looked enraged. I look at our hands and look up to see him looking at me oddly. “(Y/N)?”   
“Yes?” I look up at him.   
“Why do you like me? Is it because I’m a rockstar?”  
“No.” I looked at him in astonishment. “I like you because I always knew, even before I was born, that you were amazing. Your music skills are the shit, don’t get me wrong there.” We both chuckle a bit then I continue, “You’re genuine, and yeah… I-I do like you. I have my whole life, ya know? Before I even knew what money and fame were.” He looked happier, and he hugged me tightly. Then, I suddenly realised what I said, pulling away and covering my face, which was probably bright red. He laughed a bit, turning back on the show he’d paused. Eventually, I looked back up at the t.v. I hugged my knees to my chest, looking at the t.v. And not paying attention to it. I glance at him, and he’s smiling just a bit, making me laugh as well. How do I love him so much? He’s almost 30 years older than me! And I think that he just might… Like me… No, he can’t. He cares about me, probably like a family type of care? Yeah… Course that’s the case… Even being close to him is enough, I don’t need his love though I want it more than anything, I always have… I felt my eyes watering a bit and shut them, holding them back. A week ago, I would have never thought that I’d even get him to see me. Now, he’s watching t.v casually with me. Why am I crying? This is what I already decided. I willed them away successfully and looked up at the screen again. From my peripheral vision, I see his arm moving towards me. I raise, and eyebrow and he put it around my shoulders; still looking at the show, yet this time his cheeks were pink. I lean into him, closing my eyes and listening to the show, that was on an episode I’d already seen, by the way. He tightened his grip and after a few moments, he spoke.   
“Wanna go out to dinner tonight?” He asked as casually as a ‘How are you?’ I looked up at him, blushing again. Then I shake my head, smiling.   
“Sure.” He looked happy, but as expected there was still pain deep in his beautiful eyes. He would be torn for a while, and it was my job to help mend the wounds. Right now, I’ll do whatever it takes to make his as happy as he’s made me. With newfound confidence, I ask, “Where to?” He shrugged.   
“You’ll find out later.”  
I looked back at the t.v., puffing out my cheeks and pouting. He chuckled and held me closer. We watched t.v. until it was almost night time -about seven, and he stood.   
“Get dressed; I bought you those clothes; they’re in the shopping bag.” He smiled cutely, and I nod, running to the room.


	3. Bartender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You run into a ghost from the past, and Billie has wandered off. You realise quickly that this encounter won't end well. Things get dangerous, and no one around does anything to help. What's going to happen to you?

I get to the room, seeing a beautiful bag, and I smile. I pick out all of the stuff; he got a handful of dresses, a few casual outfits, and some new shoes; nice and casual. I look in awe at the variety of high-end clothes. “Wow…” I pick out this long black dress, with a blue pattern and matching blue heels. I haven’t had a good pair of heels in a while. I brushed my hair and looked at my blank face in a mirror, seeing that I wasn’t looking my best. How could I expect to go out with the Billie, looking like this? I look like a ghost, and I don’t have any make-up. I plop on the bed, laying down with an irritated groan. I was in there for a while, until whenever I assume, Billie started to get worried. He knocked at the room door and called my name softly. I got up and straightened out my dress, opening the door with a forced smile. “Hey, sorry I took so long, I was struggling to decide.”  
He looked at me, concern still in his eyes. He sighed softly and grabbed my hand, smiling. “You look beautiful, as usual,” I grin sincerely now, cheeks tinting pink. He leads me out of the hotel as he threw on a large pair of sunglasses. I noticed with that and his spiked hair; he was almost unrecognizable. We got outside, and there was a limo waiting. I’m glad I picked the fanciest dress available. He opens the door for me, and I slide in. He shuts it and jogs around, sliding to the other side and landing next to me. He held my hand again and gave the driver directions. I looked around in awe; it was so spacious in here! Beautiful leather, mini fridge… I looked next to me and saw his piercing green eyes looking at me, a sly smirk on his face. I laughed a bit.  
“This is amazing, definitely the last thing I ever expected to do in my lifetime.”  
“Is it? Well, I hope it isn’t a bad experience.” I smiled and leaned in a bit. I felt like he was too, but then I realised; I’m here as his support, not his rebound.  
“It’s a lovely one.” I turn to face forwards, barely holding onto his hand now. I felt his posture changing, and glanced over. He seemed to be pouting. Aww… He’s so cute… No. No, think girl. I snapped out of it and laid my head on him. I closed my eyes and the second I did; the vehicle came to a stop. I inwardly pout, as he announces that we’ve reached our destination. He got out quickly and opened the door for me. I got out, accepting his extended arm. “And here I thought chivalry was dead!” I giggled a bit, and he smiled.  
“Maybe in your generation, but I’m more old fashioned.” I glance at him; his cheeks are flushed, and I smile, leaning into him as we walk. We went inside this beautiful restaurant, and my jaw dropped. It was the kind of place you saw in the movies. He leads me to the receptionist lady, who showed us to our table, which was in a far corner, surrounded by windows. It was on a third floor, and the view was fantastic. It was pretty much a booth, secluded yet on a crowded floor. He pulled a chair back, and I sat down, blushing a bit. He pushed in my chair and sat across from me. I smiled, and a fancy looking waiter brought us some menus. We talked and laughed the entire evening, and he eventually moved to sit next to me. We had our drinks, but the food we ordered hadn’t come yet. His face was extremely close, and I wanted to kiss him. Our noses touched softly, and I giggled at a joke he made. “You know, you have the cutest laugh.” He whispered. I wanted this so much… But I couldn’t let it happen. I pulled back with a smile, sitting upright. Just then, our food arrived. He knew I liked him, though I’ve never actually said it. He was messing with me. The waiter set down our food, apologizing for the wait, and realises that Billie had taken off his sunglasses. He looked starstruck, and he looked at me then back at Billie.  
“Y-You’re Billie Joe Armstrong!” He fangirled in the cutest way. We both chuckled.  
“How observant of you, Tyler.” He read the name tag and Tyler’s face went ghost white. Billie pulled out a piece of paper from his bag, signing it cooly with a cute personal note for Tyler. “Here, always happy to meet a fan.” He grinned and hugged the boy, who almost started crying. I held in a giggle as Billie handed him the paper.  
“Desert is on the house.” The waiter said, sounding in a daze. We both ordered a dessert, and he left, wobbling a bit. When he was out of earshot, I laughed, finally.  
“Do you get that a lot?” I smiled and took a bite of the high-end food.  
“Yes, I do.”  
“Is that why you wear the sunglasses?” He took a bite as well, averting his gaze to his plate.  
“Not exactly, I like meeting fans. I do it to avoid the press. They’d have a field day with a picture of me and an 18-year-old fan. I like to protect those I care about from the damned media.” He sounded irritated and ate his food, pausing to sip his wine. I ate as well and stayed silent for a while, as to not upset him any more than he already is. Our desserts arrived, and we ate slowly. “Sorry for getting upset a moment ago. I just…” I could tell by the look in his eye that he was set off so easily because of his current situation.  
“It’s alright, I understand.” He avoided my gaze, and I put a hand over his, smiling sweetly. He finally looked at me again, smiling widely. He was like a kid; he needed comfort and support right now, he was vulnerable. Most people would take advantage of this situation, and no matter how bad I wanted to, I didn’t. I do think I’m in love with him. We finished and left; Billie had paid the full bill, plus a very generous tip for Taylor, who asked for a selfie with Billie as we left. He of course agreed. I smiled at the cute face he made for the picture. Similar to a face he makes on stage a lot. Hella, cute. We got into the limo and drove, making more small talk. He asked a lot about me, and I told him everything he wanted to know. My favourite things, people I liked and hated, etc. I mentioned my extreme love for a particular superhero and his comics, and these two youtubers I couldn’t live without watching. He smiled widely, glancing at me. He looked out the window and grabbed my hand, bringing it to his lips, kissing my knuckles softly. My face flushed again as I Looked down at my lap to hide it. He chuckled, and we kept driving. We got back to the hotel and went up to our room.  
“How does going to a movie sound for tomorrow?” He kicks off his shoes at the door, putting on slippers he brought. He got me a pair too, and I put them on  
“Sounds amazing,” I smile up at him. He leans down, and I smile, turning my head. He kissed my cheek and walks over to the couch, sitting down. I move over there and sit next to him.  
“I have to go to the courthouse tomorrow morning, with my agent. So you’ll be here alone for a couple of hours.” I nod slowly.  
“You’re divorcing her?”  
“Yeah, as quietly as I can. I don’t want a big deal about it. At least, a bigger one than what’s already gonna be there.” He scratched the back of his neck and reached into his bag, pulling out a Galaxy phone, texting someone.  
“You prefer Galaxy too?”  
“I devices are too fragile, I’m pretty heavy handed.” He smiled at me and dialed someone, putting the phone against his ear. “Adrienne, hello.” He sounded like a robot, not showing a bit of emotion for her. She spoke mumbled to my ears, and I leaned on Billy's shoulder. He sighed deeply. “No, I do not want to work it out. I’m calling to let you know I filed for divorce, and the papers will be in your mailbox tomorrow.” I heard yelling from her; I could hear the crocodile tears. I roll my eyes, and so does he. “There’s nothing you can do; it’s been finalized. I can’t deal with you anymore. I am avoiding press to protect you, so I ask that you do the same.” I heard threats and looked up at him. “Who’s story will they believe. Think about it.” He shook his head and put the phone down. She’d hung up. I hugged him.  
“Want to go to a bar?” I looked at him, smiling sweetly. He looked at me, his irritation melting away and being replaced by a smile.  
“That sounds great. Can I invite the boys?” He looked like an excited kid. I nod, unable to say no.  
“Of course!” I giggle at how cute he was being. He picked up his phone; eyes lit up happily. He dialed a number.  
“Tre? Yeah, it’s me. Hey, we should meet at our bar in thirty minutes. There’s no excuse not to go. Bring her with! Hey, I have to get ready, but seriously. Call Mike for me.” He paused and laughed. “Uh-huh. That’s right. Bye, dude.” He hung up, laughing still. I look at him curiously. He turns to me. “Get ready. I can pay your way in.” I smile excitedly. I loved going to bars. I rushed to the room, emptying out the bag again. I found this casual cocktail dress, a beautiful jet black. I put that on, along with some red heels. I brushed through my hair and went into the living room.  
“Hey, is this-” I stop dead in my tracks, seeing him shirtless and in only his boxers. My face flushed, and I covered my mouth. I spoke quietly enough that he didn’t hear me, apparently. I stayed against the wall in the doorway, wanting to leave. But I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I knew it was wrong to watch, especially since now he was taking off his boxers. I almost screamed, but I bit my lip until it bled to shut myself up. He pulled on a new pair, and I couldn’t get… That image out of my head… I quickly but quietly went back into the room, shutting the door without noise. I was still blushing as I sat on the bed. I’m trying so hard not to like him. I can’t, I won’t let myself. But holy shit… He was in amazing shape. I don’t care that he’s older than my mother, he’s so attractive. He was impressive, to say the least. I felt my core heating up a bit and shook my head violently. I heard a knock on the door, and I swear my heart stopped for a second. Gulping, I opened the door. He smiled at me.  
“I knew you’d look beautiful in that dress,” I smiled, knowing my face was still brightly lit. “Are you okay?” He looked concerned, and I quickly nodded. He pressed the back of his hand to my head.  
“I’m fine, Billie,” I smile still, he's so sweet. He smiled as well and grabbed my hand.  
“Great! Let’s go.” I nod, and he leads me out of the hotel, down to the parking lot. He leads me to a dark car. The closer we got, I realized it was Mike’s. I saw Tre in the passenger seat. Billie and I got into the back of it. “Tre, this is (Y/N).”  
He turns and shakes my hand, crazy eyes looking bright. “Nice to meet ya!” I smile and nod. He turns back around, and we got to a nicer bar, parking out front of the doors. I felt nervous, being only 18, but Billie talked to the bouncer, handing him some money. He let all four of us through, and we entered. It was loud, and there were so many people. Until I was drunk off my ass, my anxiety would be crushing. It was so worth it, though. The four of us went to sit at the bar, Billie next to me, Mike on my right, and Tre on Billie’s left. We ordered a few round of shots, and the boys started talking like boys. I giggled at them. They got to the double digits of shots and were finished. I kept going. I needed it right now. I was beyond my social anxiety. It was him, his smile, his cute little laugh. I was so close to grabbing him and kissing him. I couldn’t though, that’s why I kept myself occupied. I felt a pit in my stomach, and it twisted up in my throat when Mike and Tre stumbled off, approaching girls. My eyebrows scrunched up, and I looked at Billie, ignoring this feeling.  
“Aren’t they both married?”  
“You would think third time's a charm…” He shook his head. I nod slowly.  
“Why don’t you mingle?”  
“I’m m-” His nose crinkled up. “I can now, huh?” I force a smile and nod. “Are you gonna be okay here alone?”  
“Yeah, have fun.” He smiled and hugged me. My heart stopped a bit, eyes wide, cheeks pink. I went to hug back, smiling softly, but he pulled back. He turned to the bartender.  
“Take care of her. Get her anything she wants; I’ll pay later.” The man nodded, and Billie rushed off, disappearing into the crowd. Once he was out of sight, my smile faded, and I leaned on my hand. I turn and look at the bartender.  
“What’s your name?” I ask. He told me a name, strangely familiar. Could this be him? Let me explain; I had an ex, a horrible man whore. He got several girls pregnant. One while we were together. Why? Because at the time, I was saving myself. I didn’t put out, so he cheated. Several times. I’d never fallen so hard for one person. Every time he came around, my heart jumped into my throat. I hated him. He emotionally abused me, knowing I was so far gone. He even dated one of my good friends my sophomore year.  
“Hello?” I was pulled back into reality, seeing him again. He looked so similar as well.  
“H-Huh?”  
“Don’t I know you?” He raised an eyebrow. His evil smirk lets me know it was him, and he knew it was me.  
“(Y/N)...” I mumbled, and he smiled.  
“(Y/N)... It’s been so long. What was it, four years?”  
“Two…” I couldn’t speak. I knew if I were left alone with him, it wouldn’t end well.  
“It’s felt like an eternity without you.” I felt butterflies again. This wasn’t good. “Sorry, that’s corny. How do you know Green Day?”  
“Long story, don’t ask…”  
“Well, what are you doing here?”  
“I needed to leave. What about you?”  
“My fiance wanted to move here. It happened again, ya know?”  
“Oh no… She..?” I felt horrible.  
“She killed herself, while pregnant with my baby… You remember Serena, right?” That was her, we co-lead a club in our school, and got super close.  
“I’m so sorry…”  
“Why does this always happen? This is the second time. Is there something wrong with me?” He shook his head. “What do you want to drink?” I don’t trust him but.  
“Surprise me.” He nodded and left quickly; he came back with expensive looking liquor. Foreign to me. He poured me half a glass and then poured chocolate milk into it.  
“High-end mudslide on the house.” He handed it to me. Our hands brushed, and for once, I didn’t feel anything. No spark, nothing. I’m finally free.  
“Thanks.” I took a sip. “Wow, this is good. When did you become a bartender?”  
“Two years ago. After my senior prom.” I nod and drink some more. We made small talk for a while. “Hey, (Y/N)?” I looked up at him. He took off his apron and handed it to some guy that walked up. I assumed his shift was over. He sat where Billie was an hour earlier. He sat down and grabbed my hand, looking broken up. “I miss you. So much.”  
“(H/N)...” It came off of my tongue weird, and I looked at our hands. 

~POV Change- Billie~

“Yeah, have fun,” I smiled at that and hugged her. After a moment, I pulled back. I turned to the bartender.  
“Take care of her. Get her anything she wants; I’ll pay later.” The man nodded, and I walked off into the crowd. Come on, pull it together. You can’t feel this way; she’s 18. I looked around, seeing Tre and Mike with arms around these girls, surrounded by them. I walked over. “Hey,” I walked up the prettiest there, “I’m Billie.”  
“I know, I’ve been waiting for you.” She glanced at Tre, who gave a thumbs up. Billie smirked. This is it; I could get back in the game tonight. I grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor. She danced with me, and I rested my hands on her hips. This is my night to have fun, and I intend to. We danced for nearly an hour, and she was grinding on me. She grabbed my hand and led me up to the second floor of the bar. Before we the bar was out of sight, I looked to see (Y/N). A guy was in my seat, holding her hand. She looked conflicted from here… She tugged my arm, and I reluctantly followed. Apparently there were bedrooms up there. I’ve been here every weekend since I was legal aged. I never knew this was here. She led me into one, with the name ‘Lucy’ on it.  
“So… Your name’s Lucy.” I stated. She nodded, smiling. I nodded as well, and she pulled me in to sit on her bed. She shut the door and walked over to me, sitting in my lap. She looked so hot, but I couldn’t… Get into it. Even when she started making out with me, grinding on me. She pushed me back, so I was laying down. She was writhing against me, a mess of horny moans, but I couldn’t do this. “Wait.” I pushed her away and off, standing up and turning to her. “I can’t. I can’t do it, Lucy.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed me by my belt, undoing it quickly.  
“Yes, you can. At least this babe~” She looked up at me through her false eyelashes and bit her painted lips. I sighed, and she undid my pants. She tried to pull them down, and I pushed her hands away, fixing my skinny jeans.  
“I really can’t” I turned and walked to the door.  
“Don’t be a fucking pussy; that jailbait out there seemed into that guy! Just stay here with me, Billie. Please baby?” That made me angry, and I walked out slamming the door. I hear her screaming some indecencies at me. Ignoring her, I went downstairs, pushing people out of my way. One guy tried to step up, so I decked him in the face. It knocked him out, and I walked away quickly. I made it to the bar, to see that guy over her. I couldn’t see her, but it looked like she did, in fact, enjoy what he was doing. I balled my hands into fists and turned, walking away. I made it a few feet away, but then I heard her scream. It wasn’t a good scream. I saw the commotion. He was getting rough, screaming at her, calling her horrible names. He grabbed her, and she cried, she seemed scared. He spoke as if they know each other. No one did anything. They all looked away like it wasn’t happening. I grit my teeth.

~POV Change- You~

I looked at our hands. “No. I can’t do this.” I tried to pull my hands away, but he grabbed my face, standing up so no one could see me from the dancers. He kissed me roughly.  
“You know you love me. You always will, you said so.” He growled. I whimpered in fear, as he kissed me again. “I love you so much. I need you, (Y/N).” He moved a hand to my breast and this was where I drew the line. I pushed him off, letting out a scream. His eyes went wide, and I was shaking. “Now you’ve done it!” He yelled in a deep voice, he grabbed me by the arm, holding me hard. It hurt, he’s probably left bruises.  
“Let go!”  
“NO! I’m teaching you what happens when you reject me. I am a changed man. I get what I want when I want it. You stupid fucking cunt! I’m going to do to you like I did with both of them.” He pulled me towards the door. He’d gotten a lot stronger too. No one did anything, they all just watched. I could tell he’d been there for a while. Everyone turned their eyes. This is just like before. Except with my father back then. I felt tears falling down my face. I resisted, trying to get away. I was powerless. Why did I have to go and get drunk?


	4. Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mending wounds is all well, but what of the emotional gaps?

He suddenly fell to the ground with a loud thud. Billie walked over to me, crouching next to me. “Are you okay?” I nod, still crying. Then, Billie got knocked to the ground. That douchebag was over him and kicking him while he was down. He then spat on Billie.  
“You may be rich, Mr. Fag, but don’t you try to take what’s mine!” He picked me up by my (H/L) hair. I felt some coming out as he dragged me to the door.  
“Billie! Please!” I cried out, sobbing grossly. We got to the parking lot, and he threw me onto the cement harshly.  
“You will love me, damn it! Or I’ll end you!” He’d gone crazy… I shook my head, and he got on top of me, hands wrapped around my neck. “YOU WILL!” He spat on me. “You like this, huh you masochistic slut?” He laughed darkly. He picked my head up by my neck, then slammed it back down onto the concrete. I let out a scream. He did it a few times until an arm wrapped around his neck. It was dark, but I knew who it was. Once he was off, I gasped for air, unable to move. My head was throbbing. I knew I was bleeding out. I looked up as I heard his muffled voice.  
“Listen, you piece of shit. She isn’t yours. Not anymore. She’s mine. I love her in a way sociopaths like you can’t ever grasp.” I saw that assholes body go limp. He wasn’t dead, but he wasn’t awake. Billie let him drop to the ground, and got on him, punching him in the face repeatedly. I sat up shakily. I was feeling better.  
“B-Billie?” I mumble. He didn’t hear me. “Billie!” He looked at me as I crawled towards him. I pulled him up to his feet gently. “You’re going to kill him if you keep it up…”  
“Why do you care? He-”  
“I don’t want you to get in trouble… Let’s just go home, okay?” I collapsed, and he caught me.  
“We need to get you to a hospital.”  
“N-No. Please no. I have been through worse… I just need to get home. I’ll patch you up then show you how to tend to mine.” He nodded slowly. He picked me up bridal style, carrying me to a bench. We sat down, and he pulled out his phone. He called a cab, and I leaned my head on him while we waited. I was still crying, but not purposely. I just was in pain. “Did you…” He looked at me.  
“Did I what?” The taxi arrived, and I stood shakily.  
“Nothing… Never mind. Let's go.” We both got into the back. He told the driver where to take us. We took off. “I’m sorry, Billie…”  
“What for, (Y/N)?” The way he said my name makes me want to melt.  
“I ruined your night out with demons of my past…”  
“You didn’t ruin anything. I’ve wanted to hit someone anyway. Do you mind telling me who that was, anyway?”  
With I sigh I nod. “Remember I told you about (H/N)?”  
It dawned on him. “Oh.” He seemed angrier now. “What’s that asshole doing here?”  
“I don’t know; apparently he moved here when he graduated. He use to tell me we’d live happily ever after here. I never thought he’d live out our future with another chick.” I grit my teeth, and he hugged me.  
“Do you still have feelings for him?” I shook my head; my face was hidden in his chest.  
“Hell no… I haven’t for a… Awhile.” He nodded, resting his head on mine gently, my head was still killer. I felt the blood in my hair and on the back of my neck drying up. It felt disgusting. I wondered if he meant what he’d said. Or, at least what I thought I’d heard earlier. He said he loved me. I smile a bit, but the facial movement hurts. I wince. The car came to a stop, and we got out. Billie paid him, with a large tip so he wouldn’t speak about what he saw. We went inside and made way to the bathroom. He sat me on the toilet lid, my back to him he moved some of my hair, and I let out a small cry.  
“We need to get your hair cleaned and you in new clothes. I’ll be back.” He left, and I looked around. My eyes were blurry, and I shut them for a second. I heard his footsteps approaching, and I opened my eyes. I stood, and he set my new clothes on the counter. I wobbled, and I could barely stand up. He sighed softly. “Sit back down; I’ll draw you a bath.” I rested, wincing. He turned on the faucet in the tub, plugging it. He moved my messy hair out of my face. “Are you going to be able to do this by yourself?” He asked. My cheeks turned pink.  
“I-I think so… Thank you so much, for everything.” I felt myself tearing up. I cause him so much trouble. Tomorrow, I need to leave; while he’s at court. I need to leave before things get bad. I felt a hand on my face and looked up at him. He looked concerned.  
“Are you… Crying?” He whispered. I shook my head, and he wiped at the steady falling tears. I looked away. “Hey… Look at me.” I reluctantly look up at him again. “Listen, how long do you plan on staying here?”  
“As long as I can until you get sick of me…” I mumble the last part. He shakes his head.  
“I’ll never get sick of you. Look, I know she’s going to get the house in our divorce, so tomorrow while I’m at court, why don’t you look for an apartment?” He takes his not damaged hand and gives it to me, along with his right hand. I put medicine on it, peroxide and Neosporin. I wrapped up his fist and wrist. I was trying to decipher what he said.  
“An apartment? For who..?” I looked at his smiling face.  
“For us. I’m getting sick of this hotel. I want you to stay with me, and a hotel isn’t permanent.”  
“Permanent… For us..?” I looked at him shocked. He smiled and leaned in a bit. I glance at the tub. “You should turn that off now…” He snapped into reality. He did as I suggested, and when it was off, I stood, cupping his cheek. “We have a deal,” I smiled, and he did as well. We stood for a minute, and I looked away embarrassed. ”I need to uh…” He tilted his head, then remembered the nights events. Embarrassed, he nodded and left. I giggle once he’s gone, stripping. He’d shut the door, so now I could finally let out a pained groan. “Fuck me…” Once fully exposed, I sat down in the tub, squeezing my eyes shut. I washed up my body, then came the painful part. I dipped my hair back into the water. “Shit!” I hissed out in pain. My eyes were dripping, and I whimpered. I washed my hair, cleaning the abrasions with ivory soap. It hurt, but it needed to be done. Once I finished, I set a towel on the toilet seat, a small one on the floor, and one around me. I drained the tub and sat on the seat, drying my hair and body. The image of Billie… From earlier in the day popped in my head. I squeeze my legs together. Come on, now’s not the time! I felt my core heat up again, and I quickly finished getting dried and dressed. I put the towels and clothes in a pile in the corner, calling out his name.  
He entered, smiling. “H-Hey. You ready to be patched up?” I nod, and he has me sit down again. He looks through my (H/L) hair, seeing the marks. He put some Neosporin on them, covering up the gel looking stuff with the rest of my hair. He’d wrapped a bandage around my head, the cloth kind. Once done, he helped me up and to the bed. He laid me down, pulling the blanket over me. He turned to leave, and I grabbed his hand hesitantly.  
“Can you stay with me tonight?” I whisper, looking up at him desperately. He hesitated then nodded, laying next to me. I curled up to his chest, shaking. I’d been through a lot, and worse things, but I felt so horrible to put him through all of that. “I’m sorry, Billie…” I mumbled into his broad chest. He smelled nice, I noticed.  
“Don’t be…” He smiled at me, and I smiled back  
“So…” I started awkwardly, “What should I look for in an apartment?”  
“Two bedrooms, obviously. Two or three bathrooms… Anything you want specifically?”  
“Well, I like to cook, so a decent sized kitchen?” I spoke nervously, scared he’d shoot down my idea.  
“Sounds good. Anything else if fine, I’d like an office area, like a study, to write and work on music.” I nod and make a mental list. “The price doesn’t matter.”  
“I’ll bet. Don’t you have a net worth of like $55 million?” He laughed.  
“Yeah, weirdly enough I’m in the top 50.” He laughed a bit, and I closed my eyes. I still didn’t believe that this was happening. It seemed impossible.  
“So… Are you nervous for tomorrow?” I ask hesitantly.  
He sighed softly, “Honestly? I am. I don’t know what kind of scandal she’s going to make out of this to try and ruin me…” Nodding, I hold him tighter, our bodies close. I felt my core heat up. I thought of what I’d seen earlier… Now of all times? He needs moral support, dammit! I bit my tongue extremely hard, whimpering a bit. He buried his face in my neck, and I froze. This isn’t helping… I felt his lips gently on my neck. I let out a small whine involuntarily. I felt him smirk a bit against my weak spot.  
“Billie…” I said breathily. He hummed and kissed up my neck and jaw. Our lips met, and I was in a state of bliss. I knew this was bad, and I wanted to push him away, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I kissed back, moving my arms around his neck. This has been building up, for me, for years. Long before he even knew, I existed.  
He pulled back a bit, cheeks bright red. “I’m sorry…”  
“No, d-don’t be…” My face was probably more flushed than him, but I smiled sweetly. This eased him a bit, as he smiled too. He held me close again, and I sighed to myself. This was the one thing I didn’t want to happen. I closed my eyes and fell asleep, I knew he was still awake, probably dreading the following day’s events, but I knew one thing for sure; I wouldn’t leave his side.  
“(Y/N)?” I heard as I slowly open my eyes. The sun is brightly shining. I rubbed my eyes, yawning. I heard him chuckle, and I looked up at him. He was wide awake, and I glanced at the clock. He had to go! Why was he still here?? I look down and see that I’m practically stuck to him, and I squeal in embarrassment. I move to the empty side of the bed, looking at him as he just shook his head, getting up with that smirk. “You’re so cute in the mornings, did ya know that?” I pouted and threw a pillow at him. He dodged and left to get ready. I laid back, looking at the ceiling. He came back a while later, fully dressed, looking hot, eyeliner- God my weakness. Men in eyeliner. “And don’t forget,” he smiled, leaning over me, “to look at apartments while I’m gone.” I looked at him, only able to nod. He was just so breath-taking. He grinned cutely and set down a laptop with a piece of paper on it. Where did he get that? He left swiftly, and once the door shut, I picked up the paper. It read, ‘Since you don’t have a phone, look through apartments on here. Password-’ I read this and typed in the password, unlocking the computer. I flipped the note, and there was more. ‘I plan on getting you a phone today, so you can reach me if you’re in trouble.’ With a small laugh, I open google search. I looked for apartments in the area. I searched for about a couple hours, bookmarking a few of the ones I was really into. I finished and shut the computer, looking at my hands. I couldn’t help but think that this was getting really serious. I felt nervous, unsure. Should I just leave like I had planned? That would hurt him, though, after last night. I couldn’t leave him now. Maybe after he’s okay again. I need to do this for him; I owe him. Besides, I couldn’t even imagine what would happen if he was alone at a time like this. He’d probably go back to her… That was one thing that I couldn’t let happen. I ordered some food and watched Supernatural, which was the only good thing on. A few hours later, it was almost three; I heard the door open.  
“How’d it go?” I paused the show, getting up and walking over to him. He took off his coat and shades, forcing a smile.  
“She was as stubborn as I thought she’d be. I went to deliver the papers after I finished and she threatened my life, but she won’t do anything. I’m just… Glad to be back here.” He hugged me, and I smile, hugging him back. “Did you find any places?”  
With a nod, I lead him to the room where the computer was. I opened it, sitting down. He sat next to me, and I pulled up the bookmarks. He looked through them with me, and we eliminated some. We narrowed it down to one, the best one. He loved it; I liked it a lot too, but it was only one bedroom. It was more of a flat than an apartment, spacious. “It’s only one bedroom,” I stated the obvious.  
“So? I can sleep on the couch.”  
“If you’re paying, you’re not sleeping on the sofa.”  
“Well,” he hesitated. “We can sleep together? We’ve done it before; it’s not that big of a deal.” He smiled sweetly, but my face just became a tomato. I nod, and he grins, taking the computer and doing whatever necessary to make it ours. Ours… We’re going to live together! Holy fucking shit! I stood quickly, mumbling an excuse to leave. I went into the bathroom and almost screamed. I’m going to be living with him, permanently, and we’re going to sleep together! I began panicking, almost unable to breathe. Leaning on the counter, I tried to calm down, closing my eyes. After a few minutes, I left and went back into the room, sitting next to him. He was grinning cutely, which caused me to smile as well.I laid my head on his shoulder, and he rested his head on mine. He opened up Twitter and then checked youtube. I closed my eyes; then they shot open as I hear the familiar voices of my idols. I look at the screen, seeing he’d turned on (Fav YouTuber) for me! I let out an excited squeak, and watched intently; it was a new video. I hadn’t been caught up the whole time I was on the road. He helped me get all caught up on all of the channels I’m into. Afterward, a few hours later, I heard his stomach growl. I shut the computer and pulled him up off the bed.  
“Let’s get some food?”  
He nodded and then remarked, “Then we can meet the lady who owns the place we’re moving to, ya know to check it out.” I smiled, and we got to the phone. I wasn’t hungry, so I ordered salad and wine, he wanted to drink a bit as well, and ordered a vegetarian lasagna. We sat on the couch, talking. It seemed like we could talk for hours, days, even. We could go on forever, and never get bored, never get tired, never want to stop… Some time later, the bell rang, and he hollered for whoever to come in. She set our food in front of us, along with a bucket of ice that carried the wine. She set the glasses down and left. I thought for a moment, now that the high of this twist of fate was over, I remembered something.  
“Billie?” I took a bite of my salad, waiting for him to reply.  
“Yeah?” He looked at me curiously.  
“Did you… Ever get my letter?” I said kind of quietly, taking another bite. No one sent handwritten letters anymore, but I felt like it was more sentimental that way.  
He paused, tilting his head. “You sent a letter?” I nod.  
“When I had just turned 16, so, two years ago.”  
He thought deeply about it. “I’ve gotten so many letters; most my managers don’t even let me know I’ve gotten… What did the cover say?”  
“From a Dedicated Fan.” He racked his memory, then it clicked. He walked over to his suitcase, which was next to a guitar I hadn’t noticed was there. He looked through the suitcase, then pulled out a letter. Sure enough, it was mine. “You… You still have it?” He nodded and sat next to me, letter in hand.  
“I knew your story sounded familiar, but this letter didn’t go into such vivid detail.” He handed it to me. It looked like it had been read a lot. “This letter got me; I choked up a bit when I read it. A couple of my songs in the last two years were dedicated to whoever wrote this letter…” I smiled and hugged him tightly. He went to kiss me but rather than avoiding it, I spoke up.  
“Not now, Billie. It’s not time…” He nodded slowly, and grabbed his guitar, sitting a bit away from me. I smiled, tilting my head. What was he up to? He strung a few notes.  
“Words get trapped in my mind.  
Sorry, I don't take the time to feel the way I do.  
'Cause the first day you came into my life,  
My time ticks around you…” He sang sweetly, and damn; he sounded just as good as his recordings “But then I need your voice;  
As the key to unlock  
All the love that's trapped in me.  
So tell me when it's time  
To say I love you.” I smiled, he loved me..?  
“All I want is you to understand,  
That when I take your hand,  
It’s cause I want to.  
We are all born in a world of doubt,  
But there’s no doubt;  
I’ve figured out,  
I love you.” I felt my eyes tear up a bit. Damn it; this could not happen, but… He was so genuine.  
“And I feel lonely for  
All the losers that will never take the time to say  
What was really on their mind instead  
They just hide away  
They'll never have  
Someone like you to guide them  
And help along the way.” He leaned forward a bit, and I felt myself gravitating, though I knew this was wrong. “Or tell them when it’s time to say, I love you.” His voice became normal again, and his beautiful guitar stopped playing. “So, tell me when it’s time to say I love you…” He mumbled it, but it was received clearly. I felt my stomach flipping, my heart stop, the world become motionless… He looked as if he was awaiting an answer, and I bit my lip. I tried so hard, thinking this through as logically as possible in this state. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out.


	5. There's a First Time for Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can two shattered hearts learn to love again? Billie may have what it takes to heal you, but returning this could be near impossible. One can try, and hey, there's a first time for everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief note, I apologize for any mistakes. There might be a few. I don't have an editor. Thanks for your time and enjoy the chapter. (: by the way there is sexual and mature content in this chapter, so read at your own discretion and be ware.

It took several minutes for me to be able to speak again. Even then, all I could manage was a whisper, “Billie…” He looked into my eyes, and God, those eyes. They still had makeup on, but his slightly glazed eyes were smearing black down his cheeks. I reached over and grabbed a tissue. I would never have guessed he was this emotional of a guy. It was… Sweet. I felt myself tear up a bit too. I realised only then that the longer I keep him waiting, the more it would hurt him. “Do you … Love me?” I asked, below a whisper. He looked completely befuddled.  
“Of course. When I got that letter I-” he had to stop a moment, this is when I wiped his face clear. “I knew I felt this strong connection, ya know? I wanted to find you, but my manager wouldn’t let me. Now, I’m sure. There’s no doubt.” I smiled a bit and hugged him tightly. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Maybe this is all still a dream..?  
“Billie, I love you too. I have loved you for as long as I can remember. I’m just scared, won’t this kill your image? Aren’t you scared that I’m only 18?”  
“How can I not be afraid, (Y/N)?” He sighed, then grabbed my hands. “I do know one thing, though. It’s that I don’t care. I don’t care about my image, I don’t care about my fame, and I sure as hell don’t care about your age. All that I do care about is how much I’ve fallen in love with you. So, let’s make this official. We can keep it from the press for now, okay? So you won’t have to worry.” I smiled more genuinely than I have in a while. Now, when he leaned in, all I could do is kiss him back this time. I felt happier than I think I’d ever been. His hands had moved to my face; he was cupping my cheeks. I felt a shiver go down my spine when we pulled away. God, he’s the best kisser I’ve ever been with. It felt like heaven.  
“Fucking hell, I love you,” I mumbled, burying my face in his neck. He held me closely, and I hugged him tightly. It felt like if I were to let go, he’d disappear. Of course, there was this nagging voice in the back of my mind, saying I was his rebound. I ignored it. This was too great to be ruined by bullshit insecurities. Our bodies were close, and the image of him the other day came back up. I felt my face heat up again. No, this is one thing I shouldn’t be thinking about right now, damn it. But damn… I closed my eyes and felt him move. He stood up, smiling and grabbing my hand. I looked at him confused.  
“ Toast.” He had a small cute smile, pouring our glasses full. He handed one to me. “Here’s the only good thing in my life, aside from my sons.” He looked in pain, so I smiled sweetly, giggling. This made him happy as well, and we tapped our glasses together. We both took a drink and eventually finished our glasses. No, we weren’t even close to drunk. We decided to go now to see where we would be calling home. He called his driver, and I looked at him curiously.  
“Where’s your car?”  
“I left it. I really should get it, huh?” I chuckled and nodded. The limo came to get us, and we told the driver where to take us. We traveled about an hour, with pretty crap traffic, to a lovely part of Cali. This place was on the beach, and the sun was setting, it was breathtaking. He took my hand, face covered with large sunglasses yet again. This was not like any apartment I’d ever seen.  
“Woah…” I looked around; we were only outside, and it was still so amazing.  
“Hello there.” We turned to see an older woman; you could tell she was older but beautiful for her age.  
0 “Hello, Cathy, right?” He said politely. She nodded and shook his hand. “I’m Billie, and this is my girlfriend (Y/N),” I smile sweetly and shook her hand. She looked at the two of us and smiled kindly. I blushed again, realising what he just said. Girlfriend? Is that what I am??  
“You two are a beautiful couple. Now, if I may, your application was fantastic. I think you guys will be a good fit. The outer walls are soundproofed, so your music career shouldn’t bother neighbors. Shall we?” She turned and headed to the door, opening it and handing us the keys. We walked inside. They conversed, and I followed closely, not listening. I was too busy fawning over this place!! I’d never before seen such a luxurious home, except on the television. I was usually homeless or bumming off of a family member. It was quite extravagant, and the whole tour took almost as long as the drive here. We finished with a balcony on the second floor, just outside of our room. I smiled as I felt a breeze in my hair. “This is honestly my favourite part.”  
“Ours too.” We said in unison, snapping me out of my trance. I looked at him, smiling softly. He smiled right back at me, turning to her. “So…” He started hesitantly. “When can we move in?”  
“As soon as you like. Renovations are done, and the paint is dried. It’s move-in ready.”  
“So we can move in tomorrow?” I asked, obviously excited. She nodded, and I hugged him. We all left and locked everything up. She handed him a key, and we got in our car. On the drive home, I looked at him to see he was already staring at me. “Are you going to send professional movers to your old place, or will you go there yourself?”  
“Probably both.”  
“Can I come with?”  
He frowned a bit. “She’s desperate for me back, and I don’t know what she’d do if she saw us. I want to keep you safe.” I nod, leaning on him. We cuddled on the even longer ride back to the hotel. Traffic had gotten worse, as it was now 6, time for everyone to go home from work. We arrived at the hotel and walked in quickly. He handed me a phone. “Here's your new phone. Call me whenever, and the internet has no password so you can do whatever. I already put some valuable contacts in there too.” he smiled sweetly, kissing my cheek. “I have to go work a bit and get my stuff from her house to our place; I'll be back in like an hour. We are only going over a few songs.” I nod, grinning as he left. Going into the room, I laid down, turning on the phone. I connected to the internet and decided against social media. I didn't want to hear anything from my ‘family.' There was one thing I missed, though. Thinking back to what I saw the other day, I felt my core heating up. I bit my lip and decided to ignore this. I scrolled through popular Google searches and saw that a few times. Biting my lip harder, I clicked the link. I saw the ‘most popular’ videos, and turned off the phone, taking a deep breath. I set it down and changed into pajamas, still feeling very uncomfortable. I wanted to watch it, but… Once in the night clothing, I went back into the room, laying down. I stayed still for a while, then picked up the phone. I turned it on and clicked on the first video that came up. I felt myself blush, as there was no plot to this one. It was just a long video of just… yeah. I felt my hand sliding down my body as I bit my lip harshly. My breathing was shaky and uneven as a hand slipped under my sweats. I watched this video intently, knowing that this was probably a bad idea. I touched myself lightly, imagining it was him. The video progressed, and I shuddered. I only did light petting, so if he got back early, it'd be easier to stop. This was pure torture, though. I thought about him, zoning out from the video. I moan softly, smiling to myself. I slip the hand under my panties for direct contact, and my legs jerked. I did that for a while, shaking by this point. I slid a finger in, gasping. It's been so long since I've had any contact. I move it slowly, glancing at the video again. I decided I didn't need it anymore. Turning off the phone with my free hand, I continued. I was about to add a second finger, but I heard someone clearing their throat. I froze, face bright red as I glance at the door, seeing a flustered Billie. I quickly retracted my hand and looked away in shame.  
“H-How long have you been there?” I said, voice higher than intended.  
“Not long, but long enough.” I felt his stare, and I shut my eyes tightly. Suddenly, I felt the bed move, and I looked up at him, seeing he'd crawled over to me. He looked beautiful, still in his eyeliner. He kissed me softly, and I flinched a bit. Eventually, I calmed down and kissed him back. He pushed me back gently, so I was laying with him on top of me. He had a leg between mine and him ground it into me. I gasped, putting my arms around his waist and pulling him closer. I ground on him, whimpering against his lips. He pulled back and kissed my neck, biting onto it softly. I inhaled sharply and closed my eyes. I felt him moving down, and my moment of bliss paused.  
“Billie?” I gasped out. He was on my stomach, looking up at me through those long dark eyelashes.  
“Yes?” his voice was gruff and sexy as hell.  
“How far are we taking this?” I murmured. He came back up and met my eyes dead on.  
“As far as you want to go. I'm not forcing you into anything.”  
I nod slowly. “I want to...but not all the way… I'm not ready…” I said hesitantly, almost below a whisper. He nodded.  
“You're not doing anything. Tonight's dedicated to you, love. I'm going to make you feel so good.” he said quite erotically. This turned me on so much, and I nodded. He smiled and kissed me, then he went down on me, pulling down my sweats. Now this is one thing that hasn't happened in a long fucking time. He tossed them away, and licked up my pussy, through my panties. I bit my lip, head falling back. He rubbed me, kissing my thighs. Then, he pulled off my panties, tossing them as well. He licked my clit skillfully, sliding in a long finger. I moaned out quietly, not use to getting treated like this. He kept sliding in and out his finger, moving up my body. He used his free hand and slid up my shirt, and, much to my surprise, he removed my bra with one hand, leaving the shirt on too. He tossed it with my other clothes and kissed my breasts. He sucked on one, then bit the other. I let out a small yelp and looked at him. He looked up through his eyelashes as he moved down, licking up my pussy again. The eye contact made it so much better. He looked hot, and he wrapped his lips around my clit, sucking on it lightly. I arch my back, a hand tangling in his messy black hair. He smirked at me and sucked again but a bit harder. My body jerked and I moaned louder than I should have. He smiled sweetly, pulling away. God, he was so sweet… He moved up again, this time kissing me. I felt his boner on my crotch, making my stomach feel like it's on fire. I reached down to touch it, and he grabbed my hands, pinning them above me. “No.,” he said sternly. “Tonight's about you.”  
“But-”  
“I can deal with it myself. You can watch too if you wanna.”  
“That would be torture.” I groaned.  
“That'll make it better when you finish~”  
I whimpered, nodding. He kept his hand working on me, his free hand letting me go as it unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down along with his boxers. It was so impressive. He stroked it softly in time with the thrust of his fingers. He was going so slow, and I couldn't look away. This was pure fucking torture. I ground down on his finger, silently begging for more. He smirked and added a second finger. I moaned again, and he rubbed his dick on my clit, my eyes closing super tightly again. He stopped, and I looked back down at him to see his head rolled back. He was stroking himself pretty quickly, moaning quietly, and God it was sexy. He came on my stomach, whispering my name. After a minute, he kissed my lips again, pumping the fingers faster. I couldn't handle it anymore, and I arched my back, coming on his fingers. I moan into our kiss, pulling back to gasp for air. Our foreheads touched as we both panted. He removed his fingers and licked them clean, causing me to whimper again. He kissed me again, laying next to me and holding me close. I couldn't help but think about how I'm just his rebound, as he turned off the lights. He pulled me close as I frowned at the wall, my back now to him. He spooned me, kissing the back of my neck gently. “I do believe I'm in love with you, (Y/N),” he whispered. “Please promise you won't leave.” he buried his face in my neck. This melted away any tension or doubt, making me feel horrible. I turned in his arms, kissing his forehead gently.  
“I love you so much; I'd never leave you. I'd never cheat on you. I would never hurt you, ever.” He nodded, and I held him. I laid on my back, and he put his head on my breasts. I stroked his hair gently, and he hugged me tightly. I knew one thing for sure; I'd never fucking let go of him. I heard his breaths became even and deep, helping me to relax. I knew I was still blushing. Closing my eyes, I finally fell asleep, still holding him close.  
The following morning, I woke up to see him still asleep, looking peaceful. His head was rested on my chest, arms around my torso. I kissed his forehead gently, closing my eyes again. I was wide awake, but I couldn't bring myself to disturb him. His grip on me tightened, and I giggled quietly. A while later, he woke up, rubbing his make-up smeared eyes. He looked at me, eyes heavy. He smiled groggily. “Morning beautiful.” his tired voice was gruff and deep, incredibly sexy.  
“Good morning.” He kissed me, and I flinched, then kissed back. “Sleep well?” He nodded and sat up. Now that I could move, I leaned and looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was noon, and he yawned.  
“Wanna go to brunch?” he slurred, still tired. I nod.  
“Ima get cleaned up.” I stood, smiling at him.  
“Can I come?” He smirked at me, and I laughed, shaking my head.  
“Not this time.” He pouted, and I left, grabbing a casual outfit and heading to the bathroom. I showered quickly and got dressed. I brushed my hair and walked back into the room, seeing he was already ready. We grabbed all of our things and walked them out to Billie’s car. He told me to wait in the car while he paid the desk lady, and I did. He came back out, and we drove to a cute little local cafe. He ordered an herbal tea of some kind while I got coffee. Our drinks arrived quickly, and I ordered a regular omelette while he got a vegetarian omelette. We talked about the new flat and our new life together.  
“It's crazy, how I just met you days ago, isn't it?” I nodded as I re-stirred my coffee. “I never believed in love at first sight, and I was starting not to believe in love at all…” He stared into his tea, frowning a bit.  
“Hey,” I smiled and reached for his hand, holding it softly. “Love is certainly real. I stopped believing it as well, but I always knew if we were to meet, you'd fix me.” He smiled and kissed my hand, then our food arrived. We ate, and I couldn't stop looking at him. He was so adorable, just, all the time. I looked down at my half eaten food, full already. I pushed away my plate and just sipped my coffee.  
He looked up at me. “Do you not like the food?” I shook my head.  
“Just not too hungry. It was really good.” I gave him a reassuring smile, and he hesitantly finished his food. He got the check and paid it, then tipped the waitress generously. He always tipped a lot. I noticed that, and it was nice to know he wasn't a cheapskate. We left, hand in hand, and got into the car. “Where to now?” I looked up at him, smiling cutely.  
He turned and looked at me, his eyes the happiest I'd ever seen them. “Home.”  
He turned back to the road ahead and pulled out of the lot. We drove that near hour long drive, which was thankfully closer to his bandmates and recording studio than his old home. We got there and took our things inside. The house was already almost full of things, all presumably what he brought from his wife's place. I mean, ex-wife. The papers were already made official. It looked even better now, and we set down our last few things. I jumped on him, hugging him. “This is so amazing Billie,” I whispered into his ear. He nodded and held me up.  
“I know, I'm incredibly excited to start my life with you,” he whispered to me sweetly. He set me down, and I kissed him, cheeks flushed. I then picked up my clothes, all I had, and took it to the bedroom. I set the clothes into empty drawers humming one of my happy songs. I finished and stood, turning to see Billie. He walked up to me and hugged me tightly. With my face buried in the crook of his neck, I sighed. This was all I could ever wish for, and things could not go better.


	6. Sorry Guys

This is the author of this fanfiction, and I thought I should announce that this story will not be continued. While it is my personal favourite work, I do have other plans for the plot. I may continue with it on here if my other plan does not succeed. Thank you for the support! I am, however, writing another Billie/Reader story on this website in place of this particular story. It is called 'She'. I am sorry to anyone who follows this story, and I hope you'll check out my other story! Have a fantastic day (or night, depends where and when you see this!) 

-Jay<3


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